Mom's Children

kisses

Orchid, the favorite flowers of my mother. We have 8 of them I think...and recently I bought one for myself, but it's a small type of Orchid, like really small :))) I will take a picture, so you can see the difference :)
This is one of the 8 types we have
Here are 2 of the other:

Sweet Love of Mine
Spotty


Have a nice day,
Ani

Sky Dancer

Sky Dancer

Wouldn't it be amazing if we could walk ...dance on the clouds? What is it whit mankind that they always want the things the can't have? Instead of focusing and cherishing what we already have, we want more, always more...
This has it's good and bad sides, as everything else in this world. But I believe...that someday our grand-grand-grand-grandchildren will be able to do just that! Become Sky Dancers;)

First Autumn Rain

Oh won't you let it rain!

Picture was taken this fall :)
It was the first autumn storm :) That night I remember making a Stormplaylist =)) That was pretty awesome. The songs were in that order so they made a story :)
I love storms, rain wind ....they are all awesome!! Ah...and thunder and lighting :) Last day I watched a movie called Dream Keepers. There was an old Native American guy who was telling different stories, like that of Thunderboy.
You should watch it, it's pretty nice :)

Follow your Heart!

The key to ourself is our Heart!

    But what time was it now she asked herself? She opened it, it was  4'o clock. "Alright then, I still have enough time to figure this out before it gets dark." She looked back at the white gate in front of her. But she wasn't sure what it really was because of all the fog surrounding her. Carefully she stepped closer to it and touched it with her hand. "Brr...it's cold as ice!" She couldn't see or feel a keyhole or anything else... 

But then, suddenly her hands found the keyhole. Curiously she took a look through it. But there was nothing to be seen...it seemed like the fog was coming out of it, forbidding her to see anything at all. Not knowing what to do next, she stepped back. "I need something to open this big Ice gate, I need a key!" It started to get really cold and she was feeling it all over her body, trying to convince her to let go and just go home. But no! She had waited for too long for this to happen. How many nights she cried hoping for a little magic to ease her pain. Now that she has a chance to make a change she will not surrender! 

"Oh dear" Her feet started to hurt. She wrapped her hands around them. "No, this can't be it....I need to find a way in!" Tears were dropping from her face..."Oh no I can't cry...they will turn into ice..." But how amazed she was when she saw that they did not. Everything around her was turning into ice...her tears yet were warm and soothing. As they fell down on the white ground they formed a little pond. She looked into it...like through a mirror, her tears still falling from her hazel eyes. "Please....tell me...how can I get in? Where do I find the key to open this cold ice gate?" 

The pond moved....the tears forming words... and it said... : Look into your heart for the key to this new and yet so ancient  world! She didn't knew how she could find a key in her heart, so the only think she could do was put her hands on her chest, closed her eyes and prayed for a miracle. 

When she opened her eyes and looked into her hands there were a pair of 2 golden Keys! In one second she was on her feet, her mouth wide open starring at them...they were so bright! So bright that their light dissolved all the fog around her. Now she saw the Gate more clearly. How big it was....and shiny and sparkly! She took one of the keys and put it into the keyhole. It turned by itself....and the Gate opened....

the story will continue ;)

Special Tree

Merry Jule!

This drawing I had to do a couple of years ago for school. We had to draw our own Christmas tree, the way we would like it to be. :)

I wish you all the best and Happy Holidays!
Ani

Don't forget Yourself

She closed her eyes...and opened the eyes of her heart...of her very soul! In front of her there was a lot of fog. And when I say a lot of fog...I mean like really much of that white and thick thing...she couldn't even see her own shoes! Wait, shoes? she didn't have any on right now. The only thing she was wearing was a white simple summer dress...and her beautiful pocket watch around her neck. Smiling she took it in both of her hands and crossed  her finger over the metal surface...for every hour...there was a different zodiac sign...the hour  for hers, was 1 o'clock.

Don't forget me!

That's the first paragraph from my story :)
This picture is very important...for this story. You all know this flower and their name. Forget me not
It's very important that on our journey through our imagination we don't loose ourselves. Yes we have to let go...but we have to know how to find our way back, or we will be lost in our own world. (Psychological speaking....that is a really bad thing!!!!) It's a shame if we won't be able to return and create such wonderful stories like Alice in Wonderland. 
So! Go in there...but never close the door, always leave it a little open, that way when you want to return... you have where to :)


Have a wonderful day!
Ani

The Beginning of The End!

which way? right...left?...I will go towards the SUN!

"Will you let it rain
Let it rain
So won't you let it rain
Oh, let it rain
Won't you let it rain"

 (H.I.M. - The Beginning of the End)

Since December is going to be the month of the Wolves  (I'm still working on the first painting)...I decided to tell you, that they have arrived, the wolves (in this case inspiration, but all so...rescue from all the pain and misery I've been through all this year) Now ...starting from today I will try to cure my and a friends heart from everything we have been through :)
We have a plan and everything...and I can feel it already that it's going to be a couple of very creative months :D We will heal through love and find a way to ourselves together.


Hope you will enjoy our future stories/paintings/songs etc :))
I will link you to her work in the future :)
Till then, I wish you all a beautiful night! Rest well >:D<
Ani

Wonderland Chapter I

listen to them...they have a story to tell!

So I've started my journey and I already have a story to tell :) It's about a girl..well not really a girl but a young woman discovering a magical gate made purely out of Ice :) The story is all in my head for now I will only give you a couple of hints about it, like first of all..it's inspired from Alice in Wonderland and Nightwish's latest album, Imaginaerum :)
Then...she will meet the Mad Hatter (which in this case is inspired from Tuomas Holopainen -Keyboards- the mastermind heart and soul of the band :) ) But he's a little different than the one we all know from the story!
There are a lot of wolves and dragons and other weird creatures (witches) involved here and well...let's hope you will like it :)

"A way to taste the night
The elusive high
Follow the madness
Alice, you know once did"

(Nightwish - Storytime)

Eternal Flame

SummerLove

It seems that this years summer has decided t join us in celebrating new year...and oh Christmas too :)
It's not that warm....but what can I say...rain sunshine...the warm touch of the wind...it makes me feel like summer fall and spring in one :)))

So why crying after  Winter when he is right here...a little bit changed :)), but here!
So welcome new Winter! :* You must be in love with Summer, since you won't let Her go :)))

Cheshire

Cheshire

On my way to Wonderland ;)

This cat reminded me of Cheshire....
Picture was taken this summer...when they cut down my childhood tree and right before my eldest cat went missing :(
Thanks to Nightwish's new album ...I have found that door I have been searching for so much time!

"I am the journey
I am the destination
I am the home
The tale that reads you"

(Nightwish - Storytime)

Thank you! I will return here as often as I can, in order to tell you whom I've met next...the Mad Hatter, the Blue Caterpillar or maybe the Red Queen?

Or I may tell you everything I discovered when the journey is over.......( that would be when I'm dead...so no! as often as I can, I will post my adventures here - pictures, stories, songs, paintings...)

Take care ;)

Ani (Alice)

Rote Symphonie

roses...are red

Heaven's a place on earth?

old couple in heaven :)

Is it?
Some would agree and some would disagree....but still there are people who believe that on earth we can have our very own little piece of Eden :) A place where we feel safe and more than just at home. A place where nothing and nobody can harm us....is that true?

I'm still searching for that very special place...I believe it exists :) and soon I will find it :D

Bridge of Lies

Lies...all lies I tell ya! =)

Yup, that's the name of this beauty. Or I heard people call it the lovers bridge :) hmmm lies, lovers...I wonder what they have in common :D
Every time I was in Sibiu I had to go there, it's like a tradition.
Next time you visit Sibiu, make sure to walk over that beautiful bridge...you won't regret it ;)

Last White Cristmas...

pretty snow was pretty

yup, picture was taken last year somewhere in December....
Now...I don't know what this Christmas will be like...but it doesn't look like it's going to be white...at all!!!! It's freaking 8 degrees out here =)))
Someone give me my winter back!!! He is mine! I don't know what to do with this warm and fuzzy thing....called December...


Well...anyways...last night I started the Work on my Arctic Love project :) and here you can find the first glimpse of it :D

 Arctic Love I

Hope you like it :)

PS: I promised Ada i will scan it, so thank her ...otherwise I wouldn't have posted it :)) And I won't post the other ones if there is no request :)

Whispers

silent whispers...

...and now the story begins!
I'm not quite sure how the first painting will look like...hell I don't even know how to start it....
I have chosen the first song for it! => Mary-Lou

I changed the lyrics so they would fit the story :)

"Mamas put your babies to sleep, story too cruelsome for
them this is. In Junior high I said goodbye to my parents and ran
away with a dream. I left my family warm and kind, all of my friends said
"you're out of your mind". Life of my own I would find.... "

Seduced I was by silent whispers....so I followed them... fell in love ...believing, trusting them. Bu my  Magical Autumn  was soon over...loved started fading...cutting deep into my soul....leaving it bare and vulnerable to the freezing kiss of winter.

"Only a child, reckless and wild, needs to come home again."

Awaking slowly from my deep deadly sleep...touched by the warm rays of Springs arms....and again I was hearing them...these deceiving whispers...pure poison...but still my heart followed them...and so it fell in love again...
Strong and filled with new hope it was pounding his way through life...not knowing ....not seeing...it's danger...the cage that was waiting for it....and so...I fall head over heels into a vicious circle....called arctic love!

I don't know when I will start and finish my first painting...nor it's name :(....but as soon as I'm done, you will know :)

Here is the ending of the first painting:

"He promised the moon but won't marry you.
Nothing to do, eating for two, he's goin' out with
someone new. Sunshine or rain, it's all the same, life isn't gray
oh Mary-Lou."

Let The Battle Begin!

I know I should have announced the theme for this last year's month...December a while ago...but...
I had a pretty hard time and I didn't really get a chance to think about it...but last night I woke up somewhere around 1 am and then it just came to me....

"The wolves, my love, will come
Taking us home where dust once was a man" 
(Nigthwish - 7 Days to the Wolves)

This first moth of winter...last month of the year will be the Month of The Wolves!!!
There are a couple of songs that fit this theme...most of them are by Sonata Arctica :X

 I was thinking to create a series of paintings around a story inspired by their songs  :)
I haven't started yet...but I'm very exited about it and can't wait to begin to work!
 The series will have the name Arctic Love :)

However I won't be able to scan them :( since they will be way bigger than my scanner. I will scan only a part of them, and who knows maybe someday some of you will see them for real :)
Oh and this month will be also about battles and stuff...for the stories will be about fighting for one believes in and for freedom, love and wilderness!!!!

Me and Susi

Susi = wolf in Finnish

Thank you!!!!!!!!!

Thank You!

Today is my birthday!
It's been 21 years since my mother gave birth to me. She was 21 herself (She turned 21 only 2 months before I was born)
It was a very special day for me! It was warm and sunny....at this time of November...a rare thing. I even saw a tree with fruits...I was shocked...it felt like summer....
Thank you all for your kind words and wishes, thank you for everything you gave me! I am thankful for you being part of this beautiful day!
You are part of my world, weather you know it or not...it's better if you guys know it, since it's a magical place this world of mine...and you...the ones true of heart...will be always welcomed in ti!!!!



I send you All....all my love and hope!

Be brave my friends!

Yours,
Ani

Secret...Place

Greetings from my sacred place...my sacred secret..garden!
I wish you all a beautiful autumn day!...Even though it's one of the last days of fall.....I will enjoy it! Hope you will too...




Yours,
Ani :*

The Wind under our...ahm Feet?

Le Wind

Last summer/fall ....I went with a friend to unwind a little...
we went to a place outside of Timisoara.... and just sat there and relaxed....
It was a beautiful day! The wind was playing with our hair like crazy :))
We discovered the old way of reading time...and more....

Le Cristina

Le me

Le Us!

Hermann

Hermannstadt

This summer I was in Sibiu...or Hermannstadt! I love this city...I fell in love with it since the first time I saw it. I still can remember that day! It was a rainy day...and the city was grey and cold (for others) I was immediately drawn to it!!! I was sitting in a fast- food bar and waiting for my plescavita (some kind of food) and the woman who was preparing it was so friendly. She was using the last ketchup bottle and you know how it makes funny sounds when there is very little left inside of it and one tries to squeeze it out :) We were laughing....even though we didn't knew each other. Ah.... I can't say when that was... I might have been either in the 7th or 10th grade...when I first went to Sibiu.

Piata Mare

le water thingy

 In the picture above you can see how Piata Mare, looks today. The first time I saw it...it was all ruins and with holes. people were digging for some stuff....old Archeological stuff... and there was mud everywhere. Remember...it was raining!! so it should have been even worse. But not for me....I was so happy and the only thing I was thinking about, was how beautiful this place was...and that I didn't wanna leave it! I made a promise that I will return as often as I could. And I did! and still do =))

le tunnel

 This is the place where most of my dreams came true! The place where I saw HIM for the first time, where I met Liv Kristine ...and where last summer (2011) I saw my dear Tarja live for the first time :) Here I met some very nice people, who become my friends. Sibiu si like a wonderland, where everything is possible!!!!

old building

<3

 This...Hermannstad...one day I will marry you!!! =))) That much ...I love you!

My next stop will be here:

Wishing....

You wonder what that is?....I was amazed that I didn't knew about it...even though It wasn't my first time in Sbiu.....another thing I love about this city...I always discover something new about it....like this :)

...tower!

Secret Garden

Today I fell in love with a Korean Drama called Secret Garden.
This day started really good...but then stuff happened...and I went home sick from all of it....fighting with tears...
I didn't knew what to do...I continued to work on an old painting...but then I stopped. I went over to my Parents room and turned on the Tv ( I know...that sad and pathetic)
That was the best thing I did today!
While I was switching from one channel to the other I stopped when I saw some weird looking people (by that I mean, Asians, no offense ... I don't call them weird in a bad way, just that they look all the same, and yet so different -> cool thing!) and to my mind came one person: Ada! She loves these kind of dramas and I decided to watch it... and guess what.... now I am a fan?? :)))
It fits....it won my heart with that beautiful song: That Man
I feel like that man...

One man loves you
That man loves you wholeheartedly
he follows you around like a shadow everyday
That man is laughing and crying
Just how much…how much more do I have to gaze at you alone
This love that came like the wind
This beggar-like love
If I continue this way, will you love me?
Just come a little nearer…a little more
If I take one step closer to you, then you take two steps back
I who love you am next to you now
That man is crying.
That man is timid
So he learned how to laugh
That man has many stories that he can’t even tell his best friend
So his heart is full of tears
That’s why, That man
You, he loved you
Because you are just same as him
Yet another fool, yet another fool
Can’t you hug me before you go?
I want to receive love, baby
Everyday in my heart,
Just in my heart,
I shout and
That man is next to her even today.
Do you know That man is me?
You’re not pretending that you don’t know, right?
You really don’t know cause you’re a fool.
Just how much… how much more do I have to gaze at you alone
This love that’s like a fool
This beggar-like love
If I continue this way, will you love me?
Just come a little nearer…a little more…
If I take one step closer to you, then you take two steps back
I who love you is next to you now
That man is crying.

I couldn't resist it!!! Every sentence...all! They speak from my heart! How could I not love it?
And of course...there is magic in this drama...so adorable...I can't wait for tomorrow to see it again!

Der falsche Weg zum Gluck/wrong path to Happiness....

here is the rest of the story, you saw on my deviant profile :)

         Fest entschlossen, versteckte er den Brief samt dem Gedicht unter einem Wasserkrug und verschwand. Das machte er nun jedes mal, wenn ihn Franz darum bat. Das Mädchen antwortete ihm immer. In einem der Briefe stellte sie sich vor und bat ihn, er solle sich auch vorstellen und vielleicht könnten sie sich irgendwann treffen. Ihr Name war Johanna. Franz wollte ihr aber seine Identität nicht preisgeben, vom Treffen war da  auch keine Rede.

          Es war schon Sommer und Julian kannte zwar ihren Namen ,wusste aber nicht wie sie aussah. Er erfuhr, dass sie von ihrer strengen Großmutter nur im Haus gehalten wurde und nur manchmal auch Raus durfte. Julians Neugier stieg von Tag zu Tag. Er musste sie sehen. An einem kühlen Sommermorgen machte er sich wieder auf den Weg, um den Postboten zu spielen. Warum war es so kühl? Es war doch Sommer. Und da! Da war wieder dieser Wind, der auch im Winter hier gewesen ist. Er war nur etwas milder. Als er den Brief unter den Wasserkrug legen wollte, sah er, dass der Wassekrug gar nicht da war. Nicht schon wieder. Dieser Wind machte ihn verrückt. Aus irgend einem Grund verunsicherte es ihn. Als er sich umdrehte, stand Johanna vor ihm. Es musste Johanna sein, denn sie war genau so, wie sie ihm Franz beschrieb. Sie starrte auf den Brief in seiner Hand und dann schaute sie ihm tief in die Augen. Gott! Ein Engel? Ja! Sie war bestimmt einer. Er wusste nicht, was er machen oder sagen sollte. Als sie den Brief aus seiner Hand nehmen wollte, erschrack er. Er wäre fast umgefallen. Lächelnd nahm sie ihn aus seiner Hand und wollte wissen, ob er der misteriöse Dichter sei. Er sagte ihr, er sei nur der Postbote. Und wie er das sagte! Er stotterte wie nie. Johanna schlug ihm vor, sie bis an den Fluss und zurück zu begleiten. So geschah es nun jedesmal und die beiden wurden gute Freunde. Er erfuhr zum Beispiel, dass sie nur die Briefe des misteriösen Dichters liebte nicht auch ihn. Julian beschloss, Franz nichts von seiner Freundschaft zu Johanna zu sagen. Warum auch? Johanna laß ihm alle Gedichte und Briefe vor. Fast jeden Tag besuchte er sie und sie verbrachten so ihre Zeit.

           Einmal da packte Franz Julian am Arm und sagte, “Ich habe mich diesmal selbst übertroffen, sie wird mein Gedicht lieben!“. Eine Neugier überkam Julian. Er musste wissen, warum das Gedicht so besonders war. Er beschloss ihn Johanna nicht zu geben. In derselben Nacht, als er ihn von Franz empfing, ging er aufs Dach und öffnete ihn. Er war wundervoll, er hatte sich wircklich selbst übertroffen und was am schrecklichsten war, Franz unterzeichnete ihn. Nein! Er konnte Johanna nicht verlieren. Obwohl er wusste, dass sie nur ihn liebte, wusste er auchn dass das weibliche Herz schwach ist und Franz nicht wiederstehen würde. Er öffnete das Fenster und wollte ihn in Stücke reisßen und wegwerfen, doch da war wieder dieser Wind. Während ihn der Wind mit seinen kühlen Armen umarmte, kam ihm eine Idee. Er nahm ein Papier und schrieb das Gedicht ab und unterzeichnete mit seinem Namen. Doch wie konnte er Franz so was antun? Ihn als seinen eigenen ausgeben. Was solls. Es ist schon getan. Aber die Schrift, sie war nicht dieselbe wie auf den anderen Briefen und Gedichte. Was nun ? Ja! Er schrieb auf einen Zettel : Liebe Johana, du wunderst dich sicher, weshalb die Schriften sich nicht ähneln. Du musst wissen, dass ich die bisherigen Gedichte mit der linken Hand geschrieben habe, um meine Identität zu schützen, und diesen, in dem ich mich nun endlich offenbare, habe ich mit der rechten Hand geschrieben, ich habe nun keinen Grund mehr, mich vor dir zu verstecken. Wir treffen uns morgen um Mitternacht und ich werde dich aus deinen vier Wänden befreien, in denen dich deine Großmutter gewissermaßen festhält. Ich liebe dich. Dein Julian.

I will post the end in a couple of day or so :)

Have a nice day,

Ani

New Hope!

<3

The moment I saw this rose this summer I fell in love with it!
Now when I was looking through my folder with pictures I saw it and...it gave me hope....
There is something about this rose...so sweet and pink...just like a newborn baby!


While I was thinking what to write next ...my play list started playing a song....Don't close your Heart by H.I.M.

"I know how it feels to be on your own
In this cruel world where hearts are bound to turn to stone
Where you are alone
And tired of breathing
It's all going wrong
And you just can't stand the pain any more
You're too numb to believe in
In anything"

Life is hard...but that is what makes it real! Only when something drains every inch of our strength, love hope...our everything ....then we know...now that is worth fighting for! This week I will be brave! I will confess everything! I will...I will fight!

Happy hunting ;)

Le Ani

yummy

It's funny how I see my name on lots of things, such as this ice cream box :D
I love my name, and always will!
Usually I see my name on cars (here  the number of a car consists of the short form of the city  -> for Timisoara it's TM, then there are a couple of numbers and that is followed by 3 letters)
Then again my name is on every birthday cake :) In Romania when we celebrate a birthday we usually say : La multi ani! Which means to lots of years. Ani is the plural form for an which means year hehe....

Hope you have a nice Sunday afternoon !

Ani ;)

We are the same!

le Itsy

Today I realized that we are so much like everything around us! No matter how much we brag about being super mega etc something...as humans....we are part of nature. We keep making us believe that we are more than that....but maybe...that's what we are...and we have to accept that there is no way we can be without Nature. Funny is..she can be without us =))
And here they are! Animals, which we consider inferior to us ....they learn our ways...and who knows maybe they will actually save this world...when all we do is destroying it....

Here you can see my cat, Itsy =)) the door-opening-cat :D
Keep an eye on your pets...watch them evolve...the same way we used to ;)

November...

... you remain!
My POWER
My PLEASURE
My PAIN

Someone once said, be careful what you wish for....you might get it!
Who would have thought that light can turn into something bad too?!
I was aware..that once I will step out of the shadows I will see things, that I might not want to..or might not like. It's been hard, and it's getting harder. One has to fight for a glimpse of light....light that will show you everything. and by everything I mean EVERYTHING! Good and bad, beautiful and ugly! Every aspect of you..your life...And yet, I lounge for this light :)

I hope I can take it! It's time to put some order in my life. To focus on what is important. To heal...
The battle with ourselves dresses you with a robe covered in scars. They have to heal...while you are continuing to fight.

I was going over some songs in my head for this month....at the beginning of October I thought of The Sacrament by H.I.M. But then....I wasn't sure it was the right one. Last night I had a little obsession with Kiss from a Rose by Seal. (Which explains the first words of today's post)

But while I was writing this....it simply came to me! And yet it was unclear...I had the refrain form one song and the name from another..... =) The refrain was from Dance of Faith and the rest from Chasing the Dragon.
Both songs are by Epica.

And I think I might have a solution! This month is about healing. It's a sacred and very dear month to me :)
So...November will have 2 songs with one title!

Chase the Dragon in your Dance of Faith!

My boat for this Month

Scary Greetings!

Boo!!

Hey!
This is one of the cards I sent 2 weeks ago to a friend :)








"Pixie, Kobold, elf, and sprite,
All are on their rounds tonight;
In the wan moon's silver ray,
Thrives their helter-skelter play.
~Joel Benton"

Prrrr

and here is another one .... 









"Witch and ghost make merry on this last of dear October’s days."



I just love this holiday!!! 
One last card for you! 

Life's not fun without a good scare!

"Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.  

~Steve Almond"

PS: One of the 5 cards is on my DeviantArt profile ;) 

Enjoy!

All Hallow's Eve

Tomorrow at sundown we will celebrate ....Halloween!
When I think what it has been reduced to these day..........drinking and partying...not caring at all what it used to stand for. Actually this happened to all old Holidays :( But I don't care really, for there are still people out there who respect the old ways (and I'm one of them) That way, they will never be lost. The Magic will never fade into the unknown...

Since I love this Holidays like crazy, I already decorated part of my home with leaves I went searching for this afternoon. Later on, I will have some friends over, with whom I will share a coup of tea and pumpkin pie and baked apples :D and of course...the spirit of All Hallow's Eve!

an old drawing of mine!

I wish you all a Happy Halloween!!



Ps: My Pumpkin is already in the window, waiting to be lit! Hehehe :D

Angels walk . . .

. . . among us!
But can we see them? They can have many forms shapes and colors....we only have to see them. By angels I don't mean the mythical creatures who are told to live on the right Side of God, but people who come into our lives and give it meaning, who give us hope, strength, the will to fight through it all!
It's just amazing how in only two days I stepped into two of them!
The first one I initially thought of being a horrible person, who's only goal was to break us down! How blind can we be when we pay attention to all the bad mouths around us. Believing what they say about other without even knowing them.
Now I saw that I was wrong! There is a human part in everyone of us. No matter how damaged we may seam. We all make mistakes. That's just the way it is. I am so grateful. That very person I once thought of being cold and "evil" opened my eyes...my soul..opened doors between me and others..between me and her! I will always be grateful for that! Now I have so much more information I can use in my auto analysis :) Thank you!
The second one...are actually more than one :) It's a whole legion of angels! And after last day/evening...I was turned into one myself! For 3 years now I have been singing with a coir. Not a usual coir! We are like a flower...we come alive at the end of spring...then we live for a week or two and highlight the lives of everyone around us...and then we die just to be awaken again next springs end! The history of this flower goes way back. It was born 7 years ago. Born out of passion and love of music. This baby flower came to life by the hands ( actually voice) of Dominic and a small group of people who shared one dream! Every year it grew stronger and bigger! Now it has the strength to come alive even twice in a year! Last evening was the first time the Flower of Music came alive in the cold Fall ( when everything else falls to earth and dies). It was amazing! And I am honored to be part of it, of this flower..family! No matter where I will be from now on, I will always come back to it!

The painting you see here, was the birthday present for a dear friend of mine :) I think it fits perfectly :)

"and I don't have to fight it anymore
for all those years I was dreaming
and I don't have to worry anymore
cos I found my belief in..."

 (Anathema - Angels walk among us)

Have a magical Day!
Ani!


PS: I'm closer to find my way out of my shadows...for now I carry light with me...I have found it in me! I am part of it!

Light me up!

 I was looking at this picture which I initially named The Kraken because of the weird way my hair was resting on my bed :)
I didn't knew what I should name this post....until I heard these words:

"I've got it on my mind to change my ways
But I don't think I can be anything other than me
No, I don't think I can be anything other than me"

 I was listening to Light me up by The Pretty Reckless and it made klick in my head! It fist perfectly! Me struggling now with the shadows of myself, finding my way through it with the help of some light  ....
I see now...I  don't have to become something else... a replica of what I once was after this war has ended! no! Through this fight I will better understand myself and accept it the way it is! I will not turn into something that I'm not, denying my shadows means denying my very own me! We are all light and darkness in one form!
My goal in life is to find the perfect equilibrium between these two parts :)

Wishing you all the same!
Ani

Open doors yourself!

Don't wait for them to open by themselves or by some mysterious divine force. Even if there is someone in front of that door and they open it...they don't do it for you, they do it for themselves. And if they are behind that door...it's still the same! They will never open it just so you can go inside.... Again it's just so that they walk out of that room/space they have been in.
We have to do it ourselves if We want it to be our doing!
That's what Itsy is doing in this picture. Ignored by us, she no longer depends on us when she wants' to go outside. She found a way to solve her problem and now she can open doors herself!

All this reflects all most everything I have been going through these past days. October may has started in a very beautiful way...but since it is the shadow month ....it all changed!

The shadows started rising around me blocking my way out of this gray world. I had moments when I thought I will collapse under all the weight, when everything seemed lost and not forth fighting for. But till now I managed to find a way out of most of the Shadows grabbing me by the throat. Even if I have to throw them off kicking and screaming, I turned some of those bastards into little sparks of light.
One has to put his own weight against a problem in order to have it solved properly!

...and that's how it has been since my last post....and I'm still fighting shadows turning them into light...finding my way out :)
just like Itsy did in the end :)

Have a nice day!
Ani

First Lesson: Magic is all around!

This morning, at 8 am, while I was walking to work I had am interesting encounter.
It was a bright morning for this time of year and yet I didn't mind the sun (as I normally do) After I crossed the street while listening to a song from Fairy Tail I saw that I was being followed...
At my left, there was a dog walking besides me, changing sides...left right, right left and so on. I smiled at him telling him good morning and went on...he was still near me...sometimes he was walking in front of me and sometimes he was way behind, stopping from time to time.
I had to turn right in order to continue my way to work and I was wondering if he would follow.
He did. Now, because of the tight road he was walking very close to me and then he went in front keeping to go his way...I knew my next turn would be to the left...now wondering again if he would turn left before I had the chance to, since he was ahead of me.
He did! Amazed we walked side by side till I reached the open door from my working place. He just stood there...looking at me going through it, waving him goodbye and thanking him with an wink of an eye for keeping me company ;)

Work went extremely well today! Everyone had a great time and at the end of it we all went home, our face covered in a big smile :)

And so I went back home...
While I was walking and listening to an favorite song of mine from HIM, I saw something flying through the air. It was a Dragonfly
I don't know why...but every time I see on I get so exited! They remind of dragons...and it's not just because of their names...I love their different colors and the way they fly and look and and...
That moment I realized that everything around me looked so magical....I was spellbound! I even stopped for a moment, then went on ....

at home, while I was eating with my mother....and listening to the radio...they played a song I haven't heard for a long long time....It was Rock my life by Jeanette Biedermann. When I was little I was crazy about this song :)) And then I remembered what a colorful life I had back then and how strongly I believed in magic and music and...in myself! When we are kids...everything is beautiful!

This world is how we see it...if we choose to look at it from a bitter point of view ...than bitter it is! If we choose to paint it with all the colors we can come up with...then it is colorful! (or not...depending on how many colors we choose)

I choose magic! I choose Music!! I choose what I want to have in my world...no one else but me :)

Have a beautiful day!
Paint your own world, put life into it...MAKE IT REAL and it will be!
Ani ;)

:*

In the Shadows

Hello and  a beautiful first October to everyone!!
This picture was taken last summer. It features my dog Roco. He was running as fast as he could to get where I was standing. I choose this picture because it's exactly what I am doing and going to do this month. This month song is In the Shadows by The Rasmus. 

"No sleep
No sleep until I am done with finding the answer
Won't stop
Won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer"

 Finally I know where I am...where I was for 5 years! In the shadows..the deep shadows of my very soul. Now I am going to search every inch of them...for information...for answers to my questions...finding out who I am...what my purpose is in life...

I have to see and understand my dark side...in order to be able to see the light...once I fully understand this dark area of me...I will know how to find the bright way out of it..and with it...out of the Shadows!

...and whenever I might need to..I will be able to back...now knowing the way in and out! 

October is the month of.....Shadows!

Silence has ended!

now!

"now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real.......Bring me to life!!!"

As you all know I have started naming a song for every month of the year. September is soon ending and I can't wait to tell you what song I have chosen for my beloved October :)

It has been a long and silent September...but silence is golden...so I discovered some hidden treasures but all so...things I thought were never there...good and bad things...mostly bad (which I would like to refer to as traps) things about myself and those around me. Being silent...and trying to see everything from as many perspectives as I could..I have managed to see the small flame of light in every trap I fell :)

Still, I am numb from all this sleep ..... and I will need help (which I have found) to break through!

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home"

" I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything"

Wake me up!

song: Bring me to life by Evanescence

Forget me Not!

...for I have been way too long in the shadows...shadows of my own self...not knowing where or what I was doing. It all happened so fast..just like the wind blows away the flower of Forget me not ...they fall off so easily...
for 5 years I have been away...away from myself...taken by the wind...and for 5 years..I have been spinning around....feeling dizzy...not knowing anything..or thinking I knew...when in fact I did not. I have seen  - felt - heard- touched a lot of things...but it was always like it wasn't real...My shadow world wasn't real to me...I didn't knew where I was...that I couldn't see or understand because of that gray veil that was all around me!
But now...I am awakening from this slumber.....finding my way through this and out of the shadows!!!...Fear not, soul...I have not forgotten thee!

Number 7

Last night I had a a couple of dreams...but I can only remember one...

I moved to Sweden and was coming home to my apartment from a meeting with Oriflame ( I wanted to continue working for them, even though I was living now In Sweden. Everything went just fine, since they are a Swedish Company) I was happy! When I came to the building where I lived I went in, going up the weird looking stairs.
The Housekeeper asked if I knew my where my room was, since I was was on a higher floor than the one I lived in. I said say, I know while looking through my purse, searching for my key. Found it! I lived at the apartment with the number 7 :) I was so happy that I ran down the stairs till I was standing in front of it. When I came in everything was so nice and clean! I heard someone, and went to the room to my left. A guy was folding my clothes  :) He was the one who was keeping all apartments clean and stuff. And he was gay!!! I liked him right away, he was nice and friendly. we became friends. Then we went down to a park (which looked very similar to parcu Poporului from my Hometown) There we saw a snake and he dared me to touch it. The snake got angry and came after us :)) we tried to hide but we couldn't. I was now in my old yard from home, in Timisoara, and I ran towards a house were a good friend lived once and another lives now. The door was locked and the snake came closer and tried to kill me and my new friend. So I decided to fight it. I grabbed its head and...here I can't remember well, but I know I killed it and everybody was safe... :)

Weird dream asks for weird picture :))
Last night I fell asleep for a while and then something woke me up...it was the scent of rain!!! It rained I think all night long...and even now there are a couple of drops...splashing from time to time to the ground ;)
Soon September will be over and I will wake up....defeating the snake, the way I did in my latest dream!

Wishing you a beautiful day!
Ani ;)

"Victoria's Secret"

"The light escapes her room tonight.
Every little moment tells her, now it's time,.
Opening a new scar, closing the wounds with a knife.
No more crying in the lanterns light..."

This morning I'm going away for a while... away into the wild, returning where my heart lies....somewhere near a river...splashing his way back home...
I'm hoping to discover hidden secrets ....This picture reminded me of the beauty that surrounds us...and we are so busy sometimes to see the heaven besides us...

"Dancing on the path and singing now you got away.
You can reach the goals that you have set from now on , every day.
There is no way you would go back now, oh no, those days are past.
Life is waiting for the one who loves to live, and it is not a secret..."

Sonata Arctica's song Victaoria's Secret  has been hunting my days for a while now..and now I finally understand why!

So I'm off to Eden's secret garden ;)

Have a nice Day,
Ani :*