Arctic Love (treat 1)

Hello fellow readers,

I hope everything is well with you and that your 2016 so far has been amazing ;)

Here is a first treat from one of my projects for this year, called Arctic Love. This excerpt is from a novel I am working on and is part of the first chapter called (so far) Promised the Moon. Enjoy!

"No sooner had I said that, than a dark claw emerged out of nowhere and pierced right through my chest, pushing all through it, but not before embracing my scared heart with its burning razor sharp fingers and pulling it right out of me. My heartless body fell to the cold ground and with it all my hopes and dreams of immortality and longing for that sweet tune of love. I did not move, not for a long time. I just stared into the black night and thought and felt absolute nothing. It was as if nothing could evoke any form of reaction from me. My heart had been ripped out of me and with it, all that I had been, leaving nothing but an empty carcass behind. I was not dead and still, I was not feeling much alive either.

Our parents had warned us many times before, to never ever trust forest spirits, for they were restless souls, ancient souls, who had never found their peace and were now roaming over the earth and preying over innocent hearts. Once seduced by them, one stood no chance against their intoxicating lure. Sadly, the stories never spoke of what had become of these forsaken souls who had been deprived of their most precious possession. That part of the stories was for me to soon be discovered…"

The novel will contain 7 chapters. It is a twin project to another part from Arctic Love, where I will be creating 7 paintings that will go along with this story.

Light in the Dark

New Year, New Projects!

Project Number 1:

Some years ago, also in December, an idea was born. However, I never finished the project that followed the idea. The project consisted of creating a series of paintings inspired by songs from Sonata Arctica which I thought, were somehow connected to each other. My exact words from back then were:

"I was thinking to create a series of paintings around a story inspired by their songs :)I haven't started yet...but I'm very exited about it and can't wait to begin to work! The series will have the name Arctic Love :)"

Since then, I only created two of these paintings and started the plot for the story. That is not much, considering that I had this idea almost four years ago. But never say never, right? Arctic Love will be one of my main projects for 2016. There will be an Arctic Love project A,  which is the story told through these paintings and  an Arctic Love project B, which will consist of writing a novel for these paintings. I will also consider redoing the first two paintings and if everything goes well, I will try to have an exhibition for Arctic Love.

Project Number 2:

I really enjoy writing these 7 words stories and, since you guys also enjoy reading them, I decided to look over all the stories I have written so far over the past few years, select the best ones and put them all together in a collection of sorts. Until now I have 15 stories. That is however, not enough, especially when I would like to push my luck a little and publish them. I am not sure, what name to give this book, yet so far I always called the stories Wonderland treats.
This is a special project to me, since I would like to involve you guys in it. The part you have to play is quite simple: provide the words for the upcoming stories and I will also mention you (if you don't mind) in the book, next to the story.
What I also love about this project, is that it somehow underlines the important connection between creation and inspiration, a connection we all should be thankful for. We get inspired by words, movies, people, feelings and so on, the important thing always being, to acknowledge what it is or who it is, that inspired us and also celebrate it. This is my way of celebrating you guys ;) I am looking forward to working with your chosen 7 words of wonder.

Of Wolves and Dreams

As I am taking a short break from poetry, I went to work on some old projects of mine. Some of you might also be familiar with my fantasy writings like the Walhalla Plays (Match of the Titans; Cows from Hell) or the first part from The Kuliks. It is amazing what can inspire us sometimes to write and I know that for now, the poet in me will have to be silent and leave room for the writer.

I have been taking a keen interest in my dreams since I was  9 years old and have written most of them down. Some of them are quite interesting and even connected to each other. Ever since this month, I have been working on a new project called so far Of Wolves and Dreams. Within this story I will try to merge many of my dreams containing the theme wolves. It is quite a mind opening journey for I also try to analyse them using the point of view of my main character called Lorelei.

All that I have written so far is just a draft and I am not sure what it all will turn into; If it will be a book or just a novel or just a collection of short stories that will be part of a bigger book which contains many other themes from my dreams. So far, I present an excerpt from my draft:

"She was not feeling well; tears were running down her cheeks as she desperately tried to find an answer for her actions within her recent lucid dream.

However, she could not find any. She thought all day about that dream, her horrible actions and what they could mean. Ever since she was nine years old, she kept a dream diary and tried her best to learn the language of her unconscious mind.

After months of pondering over this dream, studying nightmares and all she could get her hands on in that brief period of time, she realized that she might not have solved her nightmares bearing wolves after all. She knew it was wrong, that one should never ever kill the “monster” in the dream, for it was part of one’s self.  As she considered this, Lorelei knew she was right about it and decided that next time she will try another approach.

But that fear, that fear is so maddening. I just hope it won’t consume me and make me do something I will regret again.

Having thought this, she looked at the clock on her phone and realized she was almost late for a date. It was not really a date though, since a date only requires two people to be categorized as one. Her friend Aditi was coming too, so she will not be all alone with Mnevis; which was kind of alright for now, until she knew how she felt about him. They were meeting for a concert. An open air concert held within a garden from a house.

Getting all excited about this, she immediately dressed up and ran for the door. A half hour later she and Aditi were walking through the garden in search for a table to sit at. Mnevis was not here yet so they talked and talked. He also joined them after a short while and they all ordered tea. Time passed and as the concert went on, night fell down, surrounding the garden with her sweet embrace of summerly coolness. As soon as it grew dark, small bugs and other bug like creatures emerged from within the cracks of the walls and from underneath the stones they had slept the whole day.

Mnevis enjoyed torturing Aditi and as soon as he found out that she disliked the sight of everything crawling on its belly, he went on with a plan. Lorelei was really enjoying herself as she looked at them arguing about the nonsense he was doing. That nonsense being him threatening her with bugs.  After some failed attempts to place some crawlers on her, Aditi finally stood up and said goodbye.

Lorelei looked at her, not believing her ears.

Come on, you know he means no harm with this.

But there was no way of convincing her to stay and so she left.  The concert had also ended and after finishing their tea, Lorelei and Mnevis decided to also call it a night and go home. As always, Mnevis would escort her home, a gesture she was always grateful for. And so they walked for a while, talking about this and that, laughing and really enjoying each other’s company.

As they passed through a dark lane, lit only by some flickering street lamps, Lorelei heard something. She stopped, Mnevis also stopping next to her, asked her what was wrong. She hushed him and looked around. There it was. Something jumped right out of a dark corner. Ah, it was a dog. He came closer, sniffing around not letting her out of sight. She continued looking at him and as he entered the light from underneath one of the street lamps she could see him more clearly. He was quite big for a dog and as white as snow."

Let me know what your thoughts on this are ;)

First Book signed

Hello everyone!

Two weeks ago, a dear friend and colleague really surprised me. I had just published my very first collection of poetry and a couple of days after, she had bought it. I did not knew about this only until she had already ordered it and soon notified me, that it will arrive in a couple of days and that I of course, will have to sign it.
I cannot explain the joy I felt; I was moved to tears and was really really excited while waiting for the arrival of the first printed version of my poetry book.
Thank you again, my dear Nadine!
Here are some picture from the first book signing session ;)

Nadine, my first fan ;)

The two of us

First dedication ;)

Lost in Secret Garden

A few days ago I decided to go out for a walk and discover some new places in Umeå (Sweden). I was really curious about a forest so I made it my destination for that day.

This is the Forest I choose for my little adventure

When I left home I had no idea what would await me in my so carefully planned morning walk. The sun was shining and everything was lovely. I checked the roads leading to the forest and was set to go. Ready and confident that I will have no problems whatsoever and would be home for lunch, I packed my camera and went out the door listening to music and enjoying the lovely sun. The path I had chosen to go by in the forest was not that hard to fin, and after 4 songs (15 minutes) I was standing in front of the entrance. 

I use Google maps to show you where exactly it was....now there is no green...just white white snow :D

I was really exited to be there. It seemed however that I was not alone. There were a lot of people, either walking their dogs or skiing. That forest has a lot ski paths and also tiny paths between the trees. It was like a little wonderland. Birds were singing and the bright and warm sunlight made you forget that it was actually still winter, it made you immune to the minus degrees, so you just had to loose the hat and gloves that were keeping you imprisoned. I followed the straight clear path that you can see in the first picture. As soon as I entered I wanted to take some pictures to capture this amazing moment. Assuming that the snow cannot be of no harm I stepped to my left towards the green army of trees to get a better shot at them and zboom...I was knee deep in snow :)))

This was taken as lay there with my right foot deep in snow =)

I took some pictures and returned to the "right" path and thus going further. I kept looking at the amazingly tall trees and how majestic they looked. My green soldiers. Pictures were taken now and then but I mostly wanted to enjoy the outdoors after I have been trapped inside for so long because of my studies...

While I was slowly walking on my white path I noticed something weirdly shaped on my right side. I went closer and stood underneath a tree looking at it. It was the remains of a tree I believe, it looked just like a nature made statue so obviously I had to take a picture of it.

My Friend, my Saviour

  Now, why would I call it my saviour? Soon, I will come to that part of the story. For now I kept on walking and came soon to the end of the wide white road. It was then that I decided to head towards a much smaller path that went south from where I was. I continued on that road, not fearing anything. I was even slightly exited that I might encounter some interesting wild animal. After a while I decided to stop listening to music and just listen to the forest sounds, for it had been a while since I encountered some human beings and was now happy to embrace the whole beauty of my surroundings. I came to a sort of bridge, but because of the snow and ice thing, I was too scared to go over it. I only climbed on one side but when I looked down at the other side, I decided not to go down, cause the only safe way would have been to slide it down. =) I turned back and while I was heading back I observed a tiny path between the trees. So I went that way, head in the trees and heart wide open!. I kept on going like this until I came to a place where there were less trees and several other wider (ski) paths. 

Wicked place where all went crazy!

   Confident and proud I managed to come this far and not get lost I decided to go a little further and then head back home for lunch time, a little sad though, that I had not encountered any wild animals. I saw a little boy and his dog come out from between the trees and naturally I was curious about where they came from and went to see. I crossed that wide place and in I went, inside the wide arms of nature. The path was not that  long and I soon heard cars rushing along the street and decided to turn back since I was not interested in anything city related. While heading back I picked up some little souvenir from the forest and was ready to go home. Amazed by the bright sun and snow I stood there in that opening and was happy. After  while I headed down the road I thought I came from....it was then after going up and down on it that I realised that I did not remember where exactly I came out from...Oh well I said, it must be this way! So I went with one of the ski paths, that sadly lead my right to the city. Okay, so I decided to go along the forest until I reached the point where I went inside it. And so I kept on walking along the street, still calm and patient hoping that soon I will see some street name that I knew?! I went like that for 4-5 songs (20 minutes or less) until turned right and I still had no clue where I was, so I went to one of the maps along the several forest entries and looked for the street I was on. Oh how my eyes fell out of my face when I saw where I was =)) 

The Green Star was where I cam in and wanted to go from the wicked place...but I ended where the red Star was...

Okay, no need to panic... I went back inside the forest, this time not stopping to take pictures. I managed somehow to come back to the wicked place by walking on small paths but then, I faced the same problem again, where to from here? I choose another path, this time hoping it was the right one. Sadly while walking on it, with no humans to ask for directions I realised that it was again the wrong one =) I was heading now somewhere  in this area:

Big Circle of Mine

Okay all seemed lost... sort of, but I kept on hoping to come across one of the ski paths and maybe see some people and ask then how to get to the other part of the forest. No such thing happened, at least not for a while...and thus I kept on walking between the trees and snow piles when suddenly I noticed something odd on my left side. At first it seemed like two pair of legs and a behind of some animal. But it was too far away to be sure. I continued, slowly, just in case it was an animal, searching for a better view of it. It then appeared more clearly since there were no trees hiding it. It was a deer! And oh how sweet it was!. It was looking back at me with as much curiosity as I was looking at it. I grabbed my camera and tried to capture this moment. Sadly it was too far away and I had no time to adjust the settings to fit the light, since I was too scared it might get away. This is how this dreamy like picture came to exist:

Dreams

But hey, it's something! Soon after that I was not scared any more and I continued on my path to find my way back home. After  while I came to a ski path, with people on it but I did not ask them, I just followed them... then after a while we came to a cross road and I as well as a lady with her child turned left and it was then, after walking for some time that I recognised something! It was my dear friend, the weird looking tree thing, but from behind! I rushed towards the main road and was so happy that I finally found my way back. All this time while walking towards the main road and out of the forest I was listening to a song from a Korean Drama, called Secret garden (thus the name of this adventure) After I stepped out of it, it switched to Nightwish's Last Ride of the day and as I was walking downhill towards home, surrounded by little water rivers caused by the melting of the snow i was gliding on the sweet sounds of Lana's Video Games...

And thus my dear friends, I enjoyed a lovely adventurous morning and was right in time for lunch at home ^_^ 

Enter!

Enter Wonderland!

So I have decided to stop posting my stories on my blog. This journey I far too important for me and I have to concentrate only on it.

I will however announce every chapter I will finish and of course the very end of all of it as well. :)

So don't be sad, I won't forget about you who read my blog.

And here is a little something from my first chapter which I finished today. I changed some things in the old

"We need love…we need our imagination! We need to free the child in us! That is our only chance…to be what we were before…to be even better…since…after all, we come out of this battle, with the wisdom of our past, knowing what is good for us and what is not. “Ah…” she smiled turning her back on the melody and looking up. She remembered how she used to love sitting in the grass and dreaming her dreams real. But as she grew up…more and more trouble came across. People telling her she was wasting her life with her dreams, that there was no use for them." 

The first chapter ends as you know it, with her opening the white gate and entering Wonderland!

Have a wonderful day!

Ani 

First Autumn Rain

Oh won't you let it rain!

Picture was taken this fall :)
It was the first autumn storm :) That night I remember making a Stormplaylist =)) That was pretty awesome. The songs were in that order so they made a story :)
I love storms, rain wind ....they are all awesome!! Ah...and thunder and lighting :) Last day I watched a movie called Dream Keepers. There was an old Native American guy who was telling different stories, like that of Thunderboy.
You should watch it, it's pretty nice :)

Follow your Heart!

The key to ourself is our Heart!

    But what time was it now she asked herself? She opened it, it was  4'o clock. "Alright then, I still have enough time to figure this out before it gets dark." She looked back at the white gate in front of her. But she wasn't sure what it really was because of all the fog surrounding her. Carefully she stepped closer to it and touched it with her hand. "Brr...it's cold as ice!" She couldn't see or feel a keyhole or anything else... 

But then, suddenly her hands found the keyhole. Curiously she took a look through it. But there was nothing to be seen...it seemed like the fog was coming out of it, forbidding her to see anything at all. Not knowing what to do next, she stepped back. "I need something to open this big Ice gate, I need a key!" It started to get really cold and she was feeling it all over her body, trying to convince her to let go and just go home. But no! She had waited for too long for this to happen. How many nights she cried hoping for a little magic to ease her pain. Now that she has a chance to make a change she will not surrender! 

"Oh dear" Her feet started to hurt. She wrapped her hands around them. "No, this can't be it....I need to find a way in!" Tears were dropping from her face..."Oh no I can't cry...they will turn into ice..." But how amazed she was when she saw that they did not. Everything around her was turning into ice...her tears yet were warm and soothing. As they fell down on the white ground they formed a little pond. She looked into it...like through a mirror, her tears still falling from her hazel eyes. "Please....tell me...how can I get in? Where do I find the key to open this cold ice gate?" 

The pond moved....the tears forming words... and it said... : Look into your heart for the key to this new and yet so ancient  world! She didn't knew how she could find a key in her heart, so the only think she could do was put her hands on her chest, closed her eyes and prayed for a miracle. 

When she opened her eyes and looked into her hands there were a pair of 2 golden Keys! In one second she was on her feet, her mouth wide open starring at them...they were so bright! So bright that their light dissolved all the fog around her. Now she saw the Gate more clearly. How big it was....and shiny and sparkly! She took one of the keys and put it into the keyhole. It turned by itself....and the Gate opened....

the story will continue ;)

Don't forget Yourself

She closed her eyes...and opened the eyes of her heart...of her very soul! In front of her there was a lot of fog. And when I say a lot of fog...I mean like really much of that white and thick thing...she couldn't even see her own shoes! Wait, shoes? she didn't have any on right now. The only thing she was wearing was a white simple summer dress...and her beautiful pocket watch around her neck. Smiling she took it in both of her hands and crossed  her finger over the metal surface...for every hour...there was a different zodiac sign...the hour  for hers, was 1 o'clock.

Don't forget me!

That's the first paragraph from my story :)
This picture is very important...for this story. You all know this flower and their name. Forget me not
It's very important that on our journey through our imagination we don't loose ourselves. Yes we have to let go...but we have to know how to find our way back, or we will be lost in our own world. (Psychological speaking....that is a really bad thing!!!!) It's a shame if we won't be able to return and create such wonderful stories like Alice in Wonderland. 
So! Go in there...but never close the door, always leave it a little open, that way when you want to return... you have where to :)


Have a wonderful day!
Ani

Wonderland Chapter I

listen to them...they have a story to tell!

So I've started my journey and I already have a story to tell :) It's about a girl..well not really a girl but a young woman discovering a magical gate made purely out of Ice :) The story is all in my head for now I will only give you a couple of hints about it, like first of all..it's inspired from Alice in Wonderland and Nightwish's latest album, Imaginaerum :)
Then...she will meet the Mad Hatter (which in this case is inspired from Tuomas Holopainen -Keyboards- the mastermind heart and soul of the band :) ) But he's a little different than the one we all know from the story!
There are a lot of wolves and dragons and other weird creatures (witches) involved here and well...let's hope you will like it :)

"A way to taste the night
The elusive high
Follow the madness
Alice, you know once did"

(Nightwish - Storytime)

Whispers

silent whispers...

...and now the story begins!
I'm not quite sure how the first painting will look like...hell I don't even know how to start it....
I have chosen the first song for it! => Mary-Lou

I changed the lyrics so they would fit the story :)

"Mamas put your babies to sleep, story too cruelsome for
them this is. In Junior high I said goodbye to my parents and ran
away with a dream. I left my family warm and kind, all of my friends said
"you're out of your mind". Life of my own I would find.... "

Seduced I was by silent whispers....so I followed them... fell in love ...believing, trusting them. Bu my  Magical Autumn  was soon over...loved started fading...cutting deep into my soul....leaving it bare and vulnerable to the freezing kiss of winter.

"Only a child, reckless and wild, needs to come home again."

Awaking slowly from my deep deadly sleep...touched by the warm rays of Springs arms....and again I was hearing them...these deceiving whispers...pure poison...but still my heart followed them...and so it fell in love again...
Strong and filled with new hope it was pounding his way through life...not knowing ....not seeing...it's danger...the cage that was waiting for it....and so...I fall head over heels into a vicious circle....called arctic love!

I don't know when I will start and finish my first painting...nor it's name :(....but as soon as I'm done, you will know :)

Here is the ending of the first painting:

"He promised the moon but won't marry you.
Nothing to do, eating for two, he's goin' out with
someone new. Sunshine or rain, it's all the same, life isn't gray
oh Mary-Lou."

Der falsche Weg zum Gluck/wrong path to Happiness....

here is the rest of the story, you saw on my deviant profile :)

         Fest entschlossen, versteckte er den Brief samt dem Gedicht unter einem Wasserkrug und verschwand. Das machte er nun jedes mal, wenn ihn Franz darum bat. Das Mädchen antwortete ihm immer. In einem der Briefe stellte sie sich vor und bat ihn, er solle sich auch vorstellen und vielleicht könnten sie sich irgendwann treffen. Ihr Name war Johanna. Franz wollte ihr aber seine Identität nicht preisgeben, vom Treffen war da  auch keine Rede.

          Es war schon Sommer und Julian kannte zwar ihren Namen ,wusste aber nicht wie sie aussah. Er erfuhr, dass sie von ihrer strengen Großmutter nur im Haus gehalten wurde und nur manchmal auch Raus durfte. Julians Neugier stieg von Tag zu Tag. Er musste sie sehen. An einem kühlen Sommermorgen machte er sich wieder auf den Weg, um den Postboten zu spielen. Warum war es so kühl? Es war doch Sommer. Und da! Da war wieder dieser Wind, der auch im Winter hier gewesen ist. Er war nur etwas milder. Als er den Brief unter den Wasserkrug legen wollte, sah er, dass der Wassekrug gar nicht da war. Nicht schon wieder. Dieser Wind machte ihn verrückt. Aus irgend einem Grund verunsicherte es ihn. Als er sich umdrehte, stand Johanna vor ihm. Es musste Johanna sein, denn sie war genau so, wie sie ihm Franz beschrieb. Sie starrte auf den Brief in seiner Hand und dann schaute sie ihm tief in die Augen. Gott! Ein Engel? Ja! Sie war bestimmt einer. Er wusste nicht, was er machen oder sagen sollte. Als sie den Brief aus seiner Hand nehmen wollte, erschrack er. Er wäre fast umgefallen. Lächelnd nahm sie ihn aus seiner Hand und wollte wissen, ob er der misteriöse Dichter sei. Er sagte ihr, er sei nur der Postbote. Und wie er das sagte! Er stotterte wie nie. Johanna schlug ihm vor, sie bis an den Fluss und zurück zu begleiten. So geschah es nun jedesmal und die beiden wurden gute Freunde. Er erfuhr zum Beispiel, dass sie nur die Briefe des misteriösen Dichters liebte nicht auch ihn. Julian beschloss, Franz nichts von seiner Freundschaft zu Johanna zu sagen. Warum auch? Johanna laß ihm alle Gedichte und Briefe vor. Fast jeden Tag besuchte er sie und sie verbrachten so ihre Zeit.

           Einmal da packte Franz Julian am Arm und sagte, “Ich habe mich diesmal selbst übertroffen, sie wird mein Gedicht lieben!“. Eine Neugier überkam Julian. Er musste wissen, warum das Gedicht so besonders war. Er beschloss ihn Johanna nicht zu geben. In derselben Nacht, als er ihn von Franz empfing, ging er aufs Dach und öffnete ihn. Er war wundervoll, er hatte sich wircklich selbst übertroffen und was am schrecklichsten war, Franz unterzeichnete ihn. Nein! Er konnte Johanna nicht verlieren. Obwohl er wusste, dass sie nur ihn liebte, wusste er auchn dass das weibliche Herz schwach ist und Franz nicht wiederstehen würde. Er öffnete das Fenster und wollte ihn in Stücke reisßen und wegwerfen, doch da war wieder dieser Wind. Während ihn der Wind mit seinen kühlen Armen umarmte, kam ihm eine Idee. Er nahm ein Papier und schrieb das Gedicht ab und unterzeichnete mit seinem Namen. Doch wie konnte er Franz so was antun? Ihn als seinen eigenen ausgeben. Was solls. Es ist schon getan. Aber die Schrift, sie war nicht dieselbe wie auf den anderen Briefen und Gedichte. Was nun ? Ja! Er schrieb auf einen Zettel : Liebe Johana, du wunderst dich sicher, weshalb die Schriften sich nicht ähneln. Du musst wissen, dass ich die bisherigen Gedichte mit der linken Hand geschrieben habe, um meine Identität zu schützen, und diesen, in dem ich mich nun endlich offenbare, habe ich mit der rechten Hand geschrieben, ich habe nun keinen Grund mehr, mich vor dir zu verstecken. Wir treffen uns morgen um Mitternacht und ich werde dich aus deinen vier Wänden befreien, in denen dich deine Großmutter gewissermaßen festhält. Ich liebe dich. Dein Julian.

I will post the end in a couple of day or so :)

Have a nice day,

Ani

First Lesson: Magic is all around!

This morning, at 8 am, while I was walking to work I had am interesting encounter.
It was a bright morning for this time of year and yet I didn't mind the sun (as I normally do) After I crossed the street while listening to a song from Fairy Tail I saw that I was being followed...
At my left, there was a dog walking besides me, changing sides...left right, right left and so on. I smiled at him telling him good morning and went on...he was still near me...sometimes he was walking in front of me and sometimes he was way behind, stopping from time to time.
I had to turn right in order to continue my way to work and I was wondering if he would follow.
He did. Now, because of the tight road he was walking very close to me and then he went in front keeping to go his way...I knew my next turn would be to the left...now wondering again if he would turn left before I had the chance to, since he was ahead of me.
He did! Amazed we walked side by side till I reached the open door from my working place. He just stood there...looking at me going through it, waving him goodbye and thanking him with an wink of an eye for keeping me company ;)

Work went extremely well today! Everyone had a great time and at the end of it we all went home, our face covered in a big smile :)

And so I went back home...
While I was walking and listening to an favorite song of mine from HIM, I saw something flying through the air. It was a Dragonfly
I don't know why...but every time I see on I get so exited! They remind of dragons...and it's not just because of their names...I love their different colors and the way they fly and look and and...
That moment I realized that everything around me looked so magical....I was spellbound! I even stopped for a moment, then went on ....

at home, while I was eating with my mother....and listening to the radio...they played a song I haven't heard for a long long time....It was Rock my life by Jeanette Biedermann. When I was little I was crazy about this song :)) And then I remembered what a colorful life I had back then and how strongly I believed in magic and music and...in myself! When we are kids...everything is beautiful!

This world is how we see it...if we choose to look at it from a bitter point of view ...than bitter it is! If we choose to paint it with all the colors we can come up with...then it is colorful! (or not...depending on how many colors we choose)

I choose magic! I choose Music!! I choose what I want to have in my world...no one else but me :)

Have a beautiful day!
Paint your own world, put life into it...MAKE IT REAL and it will be!
Ani ;)

:*

Heart Shaped Drum

Autumn was embracing Summer and after a long walk on the heated roads he kissed her goodbye. He didn't want to part ways with her, oh how he had missed her...missed these hazel eyes...always hiding underneath her golden hair... missed her blood red lips filled with so much desire...only for him...only for one day.
They could only see each other for one day a year, while one was leaving and the other returning home. Such a curse...and yet these few moments they spent together were totally worth it.

Filled with sorrow he went and sat down somewhere where he could be alone for a while...leaving behind a carpet made of leaves....it felt like forever to him...walking...walking alone...he would be walking alone for another 3 months... At least it was silent outside and he could rest...or so he thought!

A few steps away from where he was resting... a brown haired boy was playing with a little drum ... he was trying to make it sound like music. A smile came up on Autumn's face. "Ah! so I'm not alone in my sorrow"
The little boy was looking quite upset ...he couldn't tell why...
Again he closed his eyes returning to his sweet memory of Summer.....
'zdraaaaang zdumos dran drang zdumps'
He all most bit his tongue! What was that kid doing???? Was he trying to scare Fall away?? He laughed.....

The wind was playing with the boys hair and a couple of houses away it was raising the skirt of a small and shy girl.
He stopped...now he saw why the boy was so upset. The leaves kept falling on his drum, making it sound not at all as he would like it to. So he was the reason for this boys anger...

'Trip' 'trip' ...raindrops were touching the girls cheeks as she was staring at the gray sky above her...at least the wind stopped. Autumn saw her coming towards the boy. Neither of them saw each other. She came closer and closer still gazing at the sky....and then....

'zbang' 'fssss'

She fell right into a big pile of leaves throwing them all over they boys drum. The boy stopped from playing at once while she was desperately trying to clear up the mess she just made.
"Sssorry.."
he didn't say a word...he just stared at her.....
"I didn't mean to...." and now Autumn could see tears running down her face...
he couldn't stand seeing little girls cry...
'trip' 'trap' 'trip' 'trap' 'splash'

The rain was growing stronger and stronger......leaves got stuck to her tiny hands...and one was stuck on one of her cheeks ....
Awaken from his amazement the boy grabbed the girl with on hand and with the other he took the drum from underneath the leaves. They ran and ran... until they found shelter underneath a small bridge.
Autumn could still see them... "at least they found a place to hide from the rain."

'trip....trip.."
 it went on... a little calmer now...since Autumn was curious about the children...

The boy put the drum on the ground and asked her " Do you like music?" and gave her one of his sweetest smiles . She was speechless ... "uhm...uhm...yes...I like...I LIKE MUSIC" she said louder all shyness gone, just like that. He smiled again and started playing.
Autumn smiled, now, that was music...his heart beating along with the drum...thinking of his lost love....

The rain stopped. The children were still under the bridge....a boy and a girl...both spellbound by each other.
Suddenly the drum rolled away from them...the boy ran after it, she followed him. He wasn't looking where he was stepping and so he fell...both...drum and boy stopped.... the boy in front of the drum. She came rushing towards him " are you alright?" she said while helping him up on his knees ...she knelt down beside him. " hey..." and she smiled...he was stunned again by her beautiful smile....and then he saw the leaf on her cheek...it had the shape of a heart....
"You have something on your cheek" she said....and put her finger on it...then she saw what it was...a little mud shaped like a heart.

But there was more...Autumn could see 2 leaves laying on the top of the drum...just like two hearts....
His heart smiled....
The sun showed his face through the gray clouds, surrounding the two children who were looking deep into each others eyes...blushing...falling..falling in love with each other.
Then he saw her eyes once again! her hazel eyes!!! Autumn couldn't believe his own eyes....that shouldn't ....that wasn't possible....
"It is, my love" a warm breeze whispered into his ear....."take good care of them, love"
A tear ran down his cheek crossing over his smile....
No  more rain fell this fall ...

Happy anniversary Diana and Yoji!!!!!


I painted this as a gift for 2 amazing friends who had their 1 year anniversary today. And as I know myself...more is never enough for me, I had to write this story, dedicating it to them, hoping they will like them as much as they liked the painting!

>:D<

Dark Days

Hello my sweethearts,

I haven't posted anything new for a while now. As you may see from the title of this post, I have been living (and still am) in a place I could dare call Hell. 

Starting with the end of July, things moved slowly into a very bad direction. One morning (July 29) a little dog named Scooby  was hit by a car in front of my house. I was furious and sad and all day I cried trying to save the little ones life...sadly the poor thing passed away that night and to my horror I found out that his owners didn't even bury him, they just threw him away like a piece of garbage :(

In my sadness I dedicated one of my pictures to him Tears in Heaven

The ones of you who know me, know how sensible I am when it comes to animals  or anything else regarding Nature.... 2 days later.....

...my neighbor and father cut down the tree of my childhood (the rest of it, for most of it were already gone when I came back home after 3 years of absence) I didn't know how to react to that. When I was little I remember  walking through one of the corridors of our house and on my right side I could see  the tree through the windows on that part of the corridor. On one of his huge branches there was something that looked like a  semi moon, the way children paint them, with an eyes and a nose and a smile. It had something magical about it.... When I came back home it was no more....nothing left but the tree trunk. This the cut down.... here are some pictures of that day:

One boom and all was over....nothing left now but a scar in the ground of my youth...

 Here you can see inside of this tree! It looked strong on the outside but inside it was dying........now I'm trying to accept that it needed to be done...since he was dying...but seriously, who are we to decide what lives and what not? And as Nature likes to show us ....there is always new life being born, even when it's surrounded by death!

 But it had to end......it's just hard to see how that important part of my past was cut to pieces....

 And now, it's furniture for outside...

August was knocking on the door...and all seemed okay...I had something to look forward to. Tarja was coming to Sibiu (One of my favorite cities) and there were only 12 days left till then. I had trouble finding a place to stay, and a friend who should have come with me backed out of it....breaking my heart with her actions...(we were planning that trip for some months) Eventually I found a place for me and another friend to stay, but I still haven't forgiven the other one! I had to learn that she wouldn't join me because of some stupid reasons. I won't go down that road again, it's just that I thought we were friends, and she left me there in the "rain" for some guys she just met.... 

Anyways......even though I had a really nice time in Sibiu....my nights were clouded by concerns regarding one of my cats. 4 days had passed and Sefu hasn't returned home yet. Every day I called my parents asking if he was back yet...the answer was always no.....When I finally came home...I couldn't hide or stop my crying anymore...and I let it all out....

Even my dreams weren't there to comfort me, for the only thing I was dreaming were the horrible things that could have happened to him. You must know, that he never went away for that long...today it's 2 weeks since he disappeared. Some tried telling me that he was after female cats...but that's impossible since he's castrated  :(  I went and put out pictures with him hoping that someone might have found him but nothing happened

I'm still hoping, though it's only a dim light in the deep dark shadow that has taken over my soul...

I was just thinking that next year I won't be here to see him turn 7 years (on August the 6th) now...none of us will be there....:(

Now...I'm having a battle against my naive heart, who fell in love...despite of me trying to prevent that. That's one other thing that darkens my day turning it darker than night itself. I always fall for the weirdest reasons, and it's always no good => it's always in love and lonely :)) I won't even try anything even though my heart still believes I should fight for it...how could I? Last night my parents just broke up...or so it seems......and frankly I'm way to at the end of my powers to even care for anything else anymore.....I'm just trying to survive these dark days that won't leave my home....

On stranger tides . . .

"I hear your whispers

Break the silence
And it calms me down
Your taste on my lips
Your salty kisses"

. . . where there are Mermaids waiting for you. Step carefully in the water...you might never see, smell and touch land ever again...
Question is...can you handle that? for there are some great things in the deep deep blue water..some thing you might not even have heard of....are willing to risk your life just to get a glimpse of that underwater paradise?

Story....
The clock struck 7...it was a clear morning...the girl woke up by a silent sound that was filling her room....voices...whispers...voices singing...calling out...for her... She opened her eyes...nothing was there...and all went silent. Carefully she got out of bed and went to the window... what clear and beautiful morning. Suddenly fog came from underneath the door and  surrounded her feet. Here eyes wide open she wanted to scream...but no sound came out of her mouth. They were back...this time she could hear them more clearer...
She couldn't move...the fog started taking over the room...over her...she went numb...it's like she wasn't in her own body anymore... the voices....they were everywhere.... she almost could see strange figures moving towards her....faster ...faster.......she tried moving her feet...faster....a hand came out of the fog and grabbed her.........she screamed....

"They say I'm seeking up the danger
That one day you won't let me go
(I'll drown, you'll take me down)"

To be continued.... ;)
Lyrics: Within Temptation - Aquarius

Green Vs Yellow

Good morning everyone!!!
Last night I had a very beautiful dream (amongst others) ...I was preparing to move into a house with a dear friend of mine. :) It had many rooms, though small..but pretty...the house was made out of wood and was placed near the river Bega....we had a little white cat with blue eyes...and in one of the rooms I found a flag...the flag was the flag of my beloved Finland!!! and on it it said : rock! I was so happy...I ran out of the house..there was a beautiful sunset...children were playing on the other side of the river...I wanted to place the flag into the ground...but I said..no..not yet...after I move in for good! and then I ran back and me and my dear friend hugged !!! we were happy...now I only needed a job (a problem I had in the other dreams too) we had to pay 50 euro per month each of us...it was just purrfect....
The reason I correlated this dream with this picture...is because it reminds me of a fresh start...a new life...a simple and even so..beautiful new beginning :)

FairyTale!

In the beginning...there were 2....

then...another 2 came along....now there were 4of them!

but! they were always fighting...so that there were days when only 3 of them were going out..

or...

..after a time...they decided that fighting all the time was bad! so they came back together! all of them! so that in the end, they were 4 again! and now they will live happily ever after!

The End!

These are some of the pictures I took today! :) Ada and me gathered together with some friends of us Karla and Ana. We had a lot of fun today and we decided that if the weather will be this nice every Sunday, we will go out again and again and again :D

Cast:

White Shoes: Ana

Black Shoes: Karla

Place: Timisoara, Piata Unirii

Director: Myself ;)

Itsy

Morning everyone ;)
This one...hiding under the fridge is Itsy, the youngest one amongst my cats :) You may also call her DEVIL..in fur.... for she: steals things, breaks stuff, steals food from the other two. She is everywhere! I don't think that there is a place in this big house she hasn't been in :))
Under the fridge was her favorite hiding place where she kept all her treasures (like one of my earrings ....she had  it there for almost 6 months! my mother found her playing with something one day...when I already gave up hope in ever finding that earring again)
I could talk like forever about this one :)) She's always doing funny things :) like...she can open doors (unless they are locked, and everyone who comes to visit is amazed by her skills)
This one, my father found her at the school  where he's a teacher :) She was trapped on the roof and one the other teachers saved her but left her at her own. My father never liked cats, he hated them since I brought the first one home :)) He even tried to get rid of Sefu (I will tell this story another time)
Back to Itsy. My father took her and kept her in his office (for there were a lot of dogs which could have harmed her) She was very little, one month old I think...
Someday on a Sunday he decided that the cat should have a nice Sunday as well, so he brought her home :)) And ever since that day, she never left :)


Have a nice day ;)

Wilderness

This is Sefu, one of my cats :) He's the oldest (about 6-7 years)
It's a funny story how I got to keep him.
One day me and a good old friend of mine went to the park. On our way I saw something black moving behind a red cross. It was a black cat (about 9 months -1 year old). I wanted to pet it so I called for it, but my friend started to freak out because of it's color (she was worried that it might bring bad luck). I ignored her and took the cat in my arms and as she saw that, she ran away :)) I ran after her (with the cat in my hands) asking her to stop being silly, nothing bad was going to happen. But she wouldn't listen. So I kept on running after her till we came to a park ( not the one we wanted to go to) While I was catching up with her, I felt something hard hit my back and my legs. Some kids were throwing some weird looking fruit at us. I was laughing :)) but my friend got angry and said:
"It's all because of that cat! It brings bad luck, leave it!"
I didn't listen :D since I am a stubborn person. I kept running, now running from the kids :)) While we were heading towards the exit of the park, an old man came and yelled at the kids, to stop throwing stuff at us. The weird thing was :)) that he had a T-shirt saying "BLACK CAT" + a black cat drawing :)) and then I told my friend who stopped for a while:
"See! the black cat may have brought  trouble but it saved us as well :)"
So we continued our way to the park and while we sat there the cat never left my side (I didn't have any food I could have give him...which is why I never understood why it didn't go away) At the end of the day while we were heading back home my friend got used to the cat and even played with it. I have 3 cats and this one is the only one she likes (did I mention she hates cats? :)) )

PS: His name means: Boss :D