Arctic Love (treat 1)

Hello fellow readers,

I hope everything is well with you and that your 2016 so far has been amazing ;)

Here is a first treat from one of my projects for this year, called Arctic Love. This excerpt is from a novel I am working on and is part of the first chapter called (so far) Promised the Moon. Enjoy!

"No sooner had I said that, than a dark claw emerged out of nowhere and pierced right through my chest, pushing all through it, but not before embracing my scared heart with its burning razor sharp fingers and pulling it right out of me. My heartless body fell to the cold ground and with it all my hopes and dreams of immortality and longing for that sweet tune of love. I did not move, not for a long time. I just stared into the black night and thought and felt absolute nothing. It was as if nothing could evoke any form of reaction from me. My heart had been ripped out of me and with it, all that I had been, leaving nothing but an empty carcass behind. I was not dead and still, I was not feeling much alive either.

Our parents had warned us many times before, to never ever trust forest spirits, for they were restless souls, ancient souls, who had never found their peace and were now roaming over the earth and preying over innocent hearts. Once seduced by them, one stood no chance against their intoxicating lure. Sadly, the stories never spoke of what had become of these forsaken souls who had been deprived of their most precious possession. That part of the stories was for me to soon be discovered…"

The novel will contain 7 chapters. It is a twin project to another part from Arctic Love, where I will be creating 7 paintings that will go along with this story.

Light in the Dark

New Year, New Projects!

Project Number 1:

Some years ago, also in December, an idea was born. However, I never finished the project that followed the idea. The project consisted of creating a series of paintings inspired by songs from Sonata Arctica which I thought, were somehow connected to each other. My exact words from back then were:

"I was thinking to create a series of paintings around a story inspired by their songs :)I haven't started yet...but I'm very exited about it and can't wait to begin to work! The series will have the name Arctic Love :)"

Since then, I only created two of these paintings and started the plot for the story. That is not much, considering that I had this idea almost four years ago. But never say never, right? Arctic Love will be one of my main projects for 2016. There will be an Arctic Love project A,  which is the story told through these paintings and  an Arctic Love project B, which will consist of writing a novel for these paintings. I will also consider redoing the first two paintings and if everything goes well, I will try to have an exhibition for Arctic Love.

Project Number 2:

I really enjoy writing these 7 words stories and, since you guys also enjoy reading them, I decided to look over all the stories I have written so far over the past few years, select the best ones and put them all together in a collection of sorts. Until now I have 15 stories. That is however, not enough, especially when I would like to push my luck a little and publish them. I am not sure, what name to give this book, yet so far I always called the stories Wonderland treats.
This is a special project to me, since I would like to involve you guys in it. The part you have to play is quite simple: provide the words for the upcoming stories and I will also mention you (if you don't mind) in the book, next to the story.
What I also love about this project, is that it somehow underlines the important connection between creation and inspiration, a connection we all should be thankful for. We get inspired by words, movies, people, feelings and so on, the important thing always being, to acknowledge what it is or who it is, that inspired us and also celebrate it. This is my way of celebrating you guys ;) I am looking forward to working with your chosen 7 words of wonder.

Of Wolves and Dreams

As I am taking a short break from poetry, I went to work on some old projects of mine. Some of you might also be familiar with my fantasy writings like the Walhalla Plays (Match of the Titans; Cows from Hell) or the first part from The Kuliks. It is amazing what can inspire us sometimes to write and I know that for now, the poet in me will have to be silent and leave room for the writer.

I have been taking a keen interest in my dreams since I was  9 years old and have written most of them down. Some of them are quite interesting and even connected to each other. Ever since this month, I have been working on a new project called so far Of Wolves and Dreams. Within this story I will try to merge many of my dreams containing the theme wolves. It is quite a mind opening journey for I also try to analyse them using the point of view of my main character called Lorelei.

All that I have written so far is just a draft and I am not sure what it all will turn into; If it will be a book or just a novel or just a collection of short stories that will be part of a bigger book which contains many other themes from my dreams. So far, I present an excerpt from my draft:

"She was not feeling well; tears were running down her cheeks as she desperately tried to find an answer for her actions within her recent lucid dream.

However, she could not find any. She thought all day about that dream, her horrible actions and what they could mean. Ever since she was nine years old, she kept a dream diary and tried her best to learn the language of her unconscious mind.

After months of pondering over this dream, studying nightmares and all she could get her hands on in that brief period of time, she realized that she might not have solved her nightmares bearing wolves after all. She knew it was wrong, that one should never ever kill the “monster” in the dream, for it was part of one’s self.  As she considered this, Lorelei knew she was right about it and decided that next time she will try another approach.

But that fear, that fear is so maddening. I just hope it won’t consume me and make me do something I will regret again.

Having thought this, she looked at the clock on her phone and realized she was almost late for a date. It was not really a date though, since a date only requires two people to be categorized as one. Her friend Aditi was coming too, so she will not be all alone with Mnevis; which was kind of alright for now, until she knew how she felt about him. They were meeting for a concert. An open air concert held within a garden from a house.

Getting all excited about this, she immediately dressed up and ran for the door. A half hour later she and Aditi were walking through the garden in search for a table to sit at. Mnevis was not here yet so they talked and talked. He also joined them after a short while and they all ordered tea. Time passed and as the concert went on, night fell down, surrounding the garden with her sweet embrace of summerly coolness. As soon as it grew dark, small bugs and other bug like creatures emerged from within the cracks of the walls and from underneath the stones they had slept the whole day.

Mnevis enjoyed torturing Aditi and as soon as he found out that she disliked the sight of everything crawling on its belly, he went on with a plan. Lorelei was really enjoying herself as she looked at them arguing about the nonsense he was doing. That nonsense being him threatening her with bugs.  After some failed attempts to place some crawlers on her, Aditi finally stood up and said goodbye.

Lorelei looked at her, not believing her ears.

Come on, you know he means no harm with this.

But there was no way of convincing her to stay and so she left.  The concert had also ended and after finishing their tea, Lorelei and Mnevis decided to also call it a night and go home. As always, Mnevis would escort her home, a gesture she was always grateful for. And so they walked for a while, talking about this and that, laughing and really enjoying each other’s company.

As they passed through a dark lane, lit only by some flickering street lamps, Lorelei heard something. She stopped, Mnevis also stopping next to her, asked her what was wrong. She hushed him and looked around. There it was. Something jumped right out of a dark corner. Ah, it was a dog. He came closer, sniffing around not letting her out of sight. She continued looking at him and as he entered the light from underneath one of the street lamps she could see him more clearly. He was quite big for a dog and as white as snow."

Let me know what your thoughts on this are ;)

First Book signed

Hello everyone!

Two weeks ago, a dear friend and colleague really surprised me. I had just published my very first collection of poetry and a couple of days after, she had bought it. I did not knew about this only until she had already ordered it and soon notified me, that it will arrive in a couple of days and that I of course, will have to sign it.
I cannot explain the joy I felt; I was moved to tears and was really really excited while waiting for the arrival of the first printed version of my poetry book.
Thank you again, my dear Nadine!
Here are some picture from the first book signing session ;)

Nadine, my first fan ;)

The two of us

First dedication ;)

Absolution

Forgive and soon forget

For I have sinned

Too much to not regret

Forget and please forgive

My violent soul

Who was afraid to give

The love that kept you whole.

Forgive my heart

For it is weak and in the dark

Forget its fear

And all shall then be clear.

Forgive oh please

Forget and ease

The pain the suffering and all there is.

Forgive oh please

For I, I’m only human

And terribly shaking on my knees!

This is for all the people to whom I caused pain  and made them suffer...

Push

As I sit in silence, 

Raging

Crying, begging

Slowly fading

Out of misery

And out of hope

There I see this

Oh so sweet and bitter tone

Clinging

Never ever losing

Grip of his

On my fragile little soul

Then I wonder

Slowly craving

For the sweet and warmest glow

Of the hearts eternal doom

 That lifts you from the world’s low

Up until the skies that bloom

With that everlasting laughter

Of the purest gift of all

…

Do I need it?

No, say I

But I want it

No and no

Cries love to my weary soul:

Thou shall have it nevermore

Bastard soul,

Doomed and forsaken, leave it be!

For the gift you push away

And yet you want it

Why is it

You cannot see?

Doomed you are and doomed you'll always be!

So I linger

Slowly dropping

Into all that I have lost…

Yes I want you

And yet, no!

 I want you not

Push and pull

Your heart and soul

For this doing

Sorrow, I feel deepest

but my dear,

I am forsaken

For I do not know

Which to keep

And which let go…

Always juggling

Bound by fear

Love and hate

And then somehow

Death embraces me

In your heart

Slowly drowning me

 In the harsh and cold

That eternal curse of

 Indifference

Of my all.

…

Lost in Secret Garden

A few days ago I decided to go out for a walk and discover some new places in Umeå (Sweden). I was really curious about a forest so I made it my destination for that day.

This is the Forest I choose for my little adventure

When I left home I had no idea what would await me in my so carefully planned morning walk. The sun was shining and everything was lovely. I checked the roads leading to the forest and was set to go. Ready and confident that I will have no problems whatsoever and would be home for lunch, I packed my camera and went out the door listening to music and enjoying the lovely sun. The path I had chosen to go by in the forest was not that hard to fin, and after 4 songs (15 minutes) I was standing in front of the entrance. 

I use Google maps to show you where exactly it was....now there is no green...just white white snow :D

I was really exited to be there. It seemed however that I was not alone. There were a lot of people, either walking their dogs or skiing. That forest has a lot ski paths and also tiny paths between the trees. It was like a little wonderland. Birds were singing and the bright and warm sunlight made you forget that it was actually still winter, it made you immune to the minus degrees, so you just had to loose the hat and gloves that were keeping you imprisoned. I followed the straight clear path that you can see in the first picture. As soon as I entered I wanted to take some pictures to capture this amazing moment. Assuming that the snow cannot be of no harm I stepped to my left towards the green army of trees to get a better shot at them and zboom...I was knee deep in snow :)))

This was taken as lay there with my right foot deep in snow =)

I took some pictures and returned to the "right" path and thus going further. I kept looking at the amazingly tall trees and how majestic they looked. My green soldiers. Pictures were taken now and then but I mostly wanted to enjoy the outdoors after I have been trapped inside for so long because of my studies...

While I was slowly walking on my white path I noticed something weirdly shaped on my right side. I went closer and stood underneath a tree looking at it. It was the remains of a tree I believe, it looked just like a nature made statue so obviously I had to take a picture of it.

My Friend, my Saviour

  Now, why would I call it my saviour? Soon, I will come to that part of the story. For now I kept on walking and came soon to the end of the wide white road. It was then that I decided to head towards a much smaller path that went south from where I was. I continued on that road, not fearing anything. I was even slightly exited that I might encounter some interesting wild animal. After a while I decided to stop listening to music and just listen to the forest sounds, for it had been a while since I encountered some human beings and was now happy to embrace the whole beauty of my surroundings. I came to a sort of bridge, but because of the snow and ice thing, I was too scared to go over it. I only climbed on one side but when I looked down at the other side, I decided not to go down, cause the only safe way would have been to slide it down. =) I turned back and while I was heading back I observed a tiny path between the trees. So I went that way, head in the trees and heart wide open!. I kept on going like this until I came to a place where there were less trees and several other wider (ski) paths. 

Wicked place where all went crazy!

   Confident and proud I managed to come this far and not get lost I decided to go a little further and then head back home for lunch time, a little sad though, that I had not encountered any wild animals. I saw a little boy and his dog come out from between the trees and naturally I was curious about where they came from and went to see. I crossed that wide place and in I went, inside the wide arms of nature. The path was not that  long and I soon heard cars rushing along the street and decided to turn back since I was not interested in anything city related. While heading back I picked up some little souvenir from the forest and was ready to go home. Amazed by the bright sun and snow I stood there in that opening and was happy. After  while I headed down the road I thought I came from....it was then after going up and down on it that I realised that I did not remember where exactly I came out from...Oh well I said, it must be this way! So I went with one of the ski paths, that sadly lead my right to the city. Okay, so I decided to go along the forest until I reached the point where I went inside it. And so I kept on walking along the street, still calm and patient hoping that soon I will see some street name that I knew?! I went like that for 4-5 songs (20 minutes or less) until turned right and I still had no clue where I was, so I went to one of the maps along the several forest entries and looked for the street I was on. Oh how my eyes fell out of my face when I saw where I was =)) 

The Green Star was where I cam in and wanted to go from the wicked place...but I ended where the red Star was...

Okay, no need to panic... I went back inside the forest, this time not stopping to take pictures. I managed somehow to come back to the wicked place by walking on small paths but then, I faced the same problem again, where to from here? I choose another path, this time hoping it was the right one. Sadly while walking on it, with no humans to ask for directions I realised that it was again the wrong one =) I was heading now somewhere  in this area:

Big Circle of Mine

Okay all seemed lost... sort of, but I kept on hoping to come across one of the ski paths and maybe see some people and ask then how to get to the other part of the forest. No such thing happened, at least not for a while...and thus I kept on walking between the trees and snow piles when suddenly I noticed something odd on my left side. At first it seemed like two pair of legs and a behind of some animal. But it was too far away to be sure. I continued, slowly, just in case it was an animal, searching for a better view of it. It then appeared more clearly since there were no trees hiding it. It was a deer! And oh how sweet it was!. It was looking back at me with as much curiosity as I was looking at it. I grabbed my camera and tried to capture this moment. Sadly it was too far away and I had no time to adjust the settings to fit the light, since I was too scared it might get away. This is how this dreamy like picture came to exist:

Dreams

But hey, it's something! Soon after that I was not scared any more and I continued on my path to find my way back home. After  while I came to a ski path, with people on it but I did not ask them, I just followed them... then after a while we came to a cross road and I as well as a lady with her child turned left and it was then, after walking for some time that I recognised something! It was my dear friend, the weird looking tree thing, but from behind! I rushed towards the main road and was so happy that I finally found my way back. All this time while walking towards the main road and out of the forest I was listening to a song from a Korean Drama, called Secret garden (thus the name of this adventure) After I stepped out of it, it switched to Nightwish's Last Ride of the day and as I was walking downhill towards home, surrounded by little water rivers caused by the melting of the snow i was gliding on the sweet sounds of Lana's Video Games...

And thus my dear friends, I enjoyed a lovely adventurous morning and was right in time for lunch at home ^_^