Silence has ended!

now!

"now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real.......Bring me to life!!!"

As you all know I have started naming a song for every month of the year. September is soon ending and I can't wait to tell you what song I have chosen for my beloved October :)

It has been a long and silent September...but silence is golden...so I discovered some hidden treasures but all so...things I thought were never there...good and bad things...mostly bad (which I would like to refer to as traps) things about myself and those around me. Being silent...and trying to see everything from as many perspectives as I could..I have managed to see the small flame of light in every trap I fell :)

Still, I am numb from all this sleep ..... and I will need help (which I have found) to break through!

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home"

" I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything"

Wake me up!

song: Bring me to life by Evanescence

Forget me Not!

...for I have been way too long in the shadows...shadows of my own self...not knowing where or what I was doing. It all happened so fast..just like the wind blows away the flower of Forget me not ...they fall off so easily...
for 5 years I have been away...away from myself...taken by the wind...and for 5 years..I have been spinning around....feeling dizzy...not knowing anything..or thinking I knew...when in fact I did not. I have seen  - felt - heard- touched a lot of things...but it was always like it wasn't real...My shadow world wasn't real to me...I didn't knew where I was...that I couldn't see or understand because of that gray veil that was all around me!
But now...I am awakening from this slumber.....finding my way through this and out of the shadows!!!...Fear not, soul...I have not forgotten thee!

Number 7

Last night I had a a couple of dreams...but I can only remember one...

I moved to Sweden and was coming home to my apartment from a meeting with Oriflame ( I wanted to continue working for them, even though I was living now In Sweden. Everything went just fine, since they are a Swedish Company) I was happy! When I came to the building where I lived I went in, going up the weird looking stairs.
The Housekeeper asked if I knew my where my room was, since I was was on a higher floor than the one I lived in. I said say, I know while looking through my purse, searching for my key. Found it! I lived at the apartment with the number 7 :) I was so happy that I ran down the stairs till I was standing in front of it. When I came in everything was so nice and clean! I heard someone, and went to the room to my left. A guy was folding my clothes  :) He was the one who was keeping all apartments clean and stuff. And he was gay!!! I liked him right away, he was nice and friendly. we became friends. Then we went down to a park (which looked very similar to parcu Poporului from my Hometown) There we saw a snake and he dared me to touch it. The snake got angry and came after us :)) we tried to hide but we couldn't. I was now in my old yard from home, in Timisoara, and I ran towards a house were a good friend lived once and another lives now. The door was locked and the snake came closer and tried to kill me and my new friend. So I decided to fight it. I grabbed its head and...here I can't remember well, but I know I killed it and everybody was safe... :)

Weird dream asks for weird picture :))
Last night I fell asleep for a while and then something woke me up...it was the scent of rain!!! It rained I think all night long...and even now there are a couple of drops...splashing from time to time to the ground ;)
Soon September will be over and I will wake up....defeating the snake, the way I did in my latest dream!

Wishing you a beautiful day!
Ani ;)

"Victoria's Secret"

"The light escapes her room tonight.
Every little moment tells her, now it's time,.
Opening a new scar, closing the wounds with a knife.
No more crying in the lanterns light..."

This morning I'm going away for a while... away into the wild, returning where my heart lies....somewhere near a river...splashing his way back home...
I'm hoping to discover hidden secrets ....This picture reminded me of the beauty that surrounds us...and we are so busy sometimes to see the heaven besides us...

"Dancing on the path and singing now you got away.
You can reach the goals that you have set from now on , every day.
There is no way you would go back now, oh no, those days are past.
Life is waiting for the one who loves to live, and it is not a secret..."

Sonata Arctica's song Victaoria's Secret  has been hunting my days for a while now..and now I finally understand why!

So I'm off to Eden's secret garden ;)

Have a nice Day,
Ani :*

No Fear!

....destination darkness....
 sings Lauri (The Rasmus) in No fear (from the album Hide from the Sun)

This picture reminded me of this song for one reason, these flowers rise and shine in the middle of spring, in this dark and heartless world, not fearing  anything and nobody not even that their white beauty might be stained by the ugly shadows who crawl amongst us every day, every night!

It gives me Courage! It gives me Hope! It gives me Strength!
About this time, next year, or even much earlier (July) I will be far away from this place I call home....
I am exited about Sweden, but still, I fear it! I fear that I might not be able to adjust there...that it might all go wrong!...but then silent whispers calm me, whispers coming straight from within my heart, saying it's going to be okay ;)
I already started learning Swedish and I must say it's a lot of fun! I hope that by the end of July I will be very good at it :)

Have a beautiful day!
Ani ;)

Heart Shaped Drum

Autumn was embracing Summer and after a long walk on the heated roads he kissed her goodbye. He didn't want to part ways with her, oh how he had missed her...missed these hazel eyes...always hiding underneath her golden hair... missed her blood red lips filled with so much desire...only for him...only for one day.
They could only see each other for one day a year, while one was leaving and the other returning home. Such a curse...and yet these few moments they spent together were totally worth it.

Filled with sorrow he went and sat down somewhere where he could be alone for a while...leaving behind a carpet made of leaves....it felt like forever to him...walking...walking alone...he would be walking alone for another 3 months... At least it was silent outside and he could rest...or so he thought!

A few steps away from where he was resting... a brown haired boy was playing with a little drum ... he was trying to make it sound like music. A smile came up on Autumn's face. "Ah! so I'm not alone in my sorrow"
The little boy was looking quite upset ...he couldn't tell why...
Again he closed his eyes returning to his sweet memory of Summer.....
'zdraaaaang zdumos dran drang zdumps'
He all most bit his tongue! What was that kid doing???? Was he trying to scare Fall away?? He laughed.....

The wind was playing with the boys hair and a couple of houses away it was raising the skirt of a small and shy girl.
He stopped...now he saw why the boy was so upset. The leaves kept falling on his drum, making it sound not at all as he would like it to. So he was the reason for this boys anger...

'Trip' 'trip' ...raindrops were touching the girls cheeks as she was staring at the gray sky above her...at least the wind stopped. Autumn saw her coming towards the boy. Neither of them saw each other. She came closer and closer still gazing at the sky....and then....

'zbang' 'fssss'

She fell right into a big pile of leaves throwing them all over they boys drum. The boy stopped from playing at once while she was desperately trying to clear up the mess she just made.
"Sssorry.."
he didn't say a word...he just stared at her.....
"I didn't mean to...." and now Autumn could see tears running down her face...
he couldn't stand seeing little girls cry...
'trip' 'trap' 'trip' 'trap' 'splash'

The rain was growing stronger and stronger......leaves got stuck to her tiny hands...and one was stuck on one of her cheeks ....
Awaken from his amazement the boy grabbed the girl with on hand and with the other he took the drum from underneath the leaves. They ran and ran... until they found shelter underneath a small bridge.
Autumn could still see them... "at least they found a place to hide from the rain."

'trip....trip.."
 it went on... a little calmer now...since Autumn was curious about the children...

The boy put the drum on the ground and asked her " Do you like music?" and gave her one of his sweetest smiles . She was speechless ... "uhm...uhm...yes...I like...I LIKE MUSIC" she said louder all shyness gone, just like that. He smiled again and started playing.
Autumn smiled, now, that was music...his heart beating along with the drum...thinking of his lost love....

The rain stopped. The children were still under the bridge....a boy and a girl...both spellbound by each other.
Suddenly the drum rolled away from them...the boy ran after it, she followed him. He wasn't looking where he was stepping and so he fell...both...drum and boy stopped.... the boy in front of the drum. She came rushing towards him " are you alright?" she said while helping him up on his knees ...she knelt down beside him. " hey..." and she smiled...he was stunned again by her beautiful smile....and then he saw the leaf on her cheek...it had the shape of a heart....
"You have something on your cheek" she said....and put her finger on it...then she saw what it was...a little mud shaped like a heart.

But there was more...Autumn could see 2 leaves laying on the top of the drum...just like two hearts....
His heart smiled....
The sun showed his face through the gray clouds, surrounding the two children who were looking deep into each others eyes...blushing...falling..falling in love with each other.
Then he saw her eyes once again! her hazel eyes!!! Autumn couldn't believe his own eyes....that shouldn't ....that wasn't possible....
"It is, my love" a warm breeze whispered into his ear....."take good care of them, love"
A tear ran down his cheek crossing over his smile....
No  more rain fell this fall ...

Happy anniversary Diana and Yoji!!!!!


I painted this as a gift for 2 amazing friends who had their 1 year anniversary today. And as I know myself...more is never enough for me, I had to write this story, dedicating it to them, hoping they will like them as much as they liked the painting!

>:D<

One Winter's Night

"I dream of the Winter in my Heart turning to spring, while the ice gives way under my feet...and so I drown with the sun."

H.I.M. - Under the Rose 

~Dark Light~

 

The picture was taken last Winter on a night I couldn't sleep...can you believe how bright it was? It's amazing what snow can do. It gets me thinking...what if these so called dark nights in the far north...aren't that dark at all?..Just saying :)

One bite...and I give you eternety!

69 Eyes's song Velvet Touch inspired me for the name of this painting. It starts like this :

"The autumn came took you away
I never expected to you to stay
Black tears falling in the cold rain
I woke up one night into the darkest dream
Your pretty ghost whispering to me
Just one drop and I'll give you eternity "

I know I know...it's drop...but bite sounds so much nicer :X and it fits better,my snake says :X one could use drop as well...a drop of poison...but I think that they are talking about blood in the song....well who knows :)
I painted this one as a birthday gift for a friend :) She loves these wonderful creatures, so why not have one of her own? :)) Yeah...not a real one, but it's cute :D
Well that's it for tonight....I'll take a bite of this apple and will go silent for the rest of this month ;) (that doesn't mean I'm not posting any new posts)


Good night everyone!!

Autumn is near . . .

Good evening dear ones!
The first autumn rain fell this week! It was magical!!!! I got so inspired that I even made a special play list for such events :X:X What can I say :)) I'm crazy about rain :X
And it get worse...now that leaves are starting to crash to the ground !!! Soon we'll be able to dance and sleep in them :X  worse ...that is in a very positive way ;;)
So the silence goes on...I am even sleeping more than usually, the rain and the falling leaves are keeping me safe from the noise this world makes, so, I can go on and sleep my way out of September!
This picture was taken last fall, while I was taking a walk with an friend before we went to class :D

Inner Silence . . .

"When the silence beckons
and the day draws to a close,
When the light of your life sighs,
and the love dies in your eyes,
only then will I realize,
what you mean to me."


Song : Inner Silence by Anathema


 Today is the first day of September! For me this month will be one of silence...for this is the song I choose to represent it. I decided that from now on, I will choose for each of the upcoming months a song to represent them :)
Why a month of silence? Because that's what I need the most now....my wounds from the battle with August are still burning...now I need to rest and go deep into myself to find the resources to go on later!