Madness!

A painting I painted as a gift for a friend of mine, Hris :)
It was her birthday! The weird part is that when I painted it, I was really exited about it...but the next morning I was afraid of it :)) so I had to wrap it all up:))
Thank the Gods...she liked it and didn't find it at all scary...

As summer passes by...

...I'm waiting for the fall :) It's way too hot outside, and yet I can't stand  staying at home......
It's a good thing we have water! I can carry it everywhere with me....but it never lasts too long :)) After 10 minutes of walking under every possible shadow...it turns from ice cold to warm water :-<

Soon it will be September and oh, how I will enjoy every leave falling down and then kicking it up in the air...all that magic, all that love :X I just hope that September's rain will wash away this dark month called August!

Dark Days

Hello my sweethearts,

I haven't posted anything new for a while now. As you may see from the title of this post, I have been living (and still am) in a place I could dare call Hell. 

Starting with the end of July, things moved slowly into a very bad direction. One morning (July 29) a little dog named Scooby  was hit by a car in front of my house. I was furious and sad and all day I cried trying to save the little ones life...sadly the poor thing passed away that night and to my horror I found out that his owners didn't even bury him, they just threw him away like a piece of garbage :(

In my sadness I dedicated one of my pictures to him Tears in Heaven

The ones of you who know me, know how sensible I am when it comes to animals  or anything else regarding Nature.... 2 days later.....

...my neighbor and father cut down the tree of my childhood (the rest of it, for most of it were already gone when I came back home after 3 years of absence) I didn't know how to react to that. When I was little I remember  walking through one of the corridors of our house and on my right side I could see  the tree through the windows on that part of the corridor. On one of his huge branches there was something that looked like a  semi moon, the way children paint them, with an eyes and a nose and a smile. It had something magical about it.... When I came back home it was no more....nothing left but the tree trunk. This the cut down.... here are some pictures of that day:

One boom and all was over....nothing left now but a scar in the ground of my youth...

 Here you can see inside of this tree! It looked strong on the outside but inside it was dying........now I'm trying to accept that it needed to be done...since he was dying...but seriously, who are we to decide what lives and what not? And as Nature likes to show us ....there is always new life being born, even when it's surrounded by death!

 But it had to end......it's just hard to see how that important part of my past was cut to pieces....

 And now, it's furniture for outside...

August was knocking on the door...and all seemed okay...I had something to look forward to. Tarja was coming to Sibiu (One of my favorite cities) and there were only 12 days left till then. I had trouble finding a place to stay, and a friend who should have come with me backed out of it....breaking my heart with her actions...(we were planning that trip for some months) Eventually I found a place for me and another friend to stay, but I still haven't forgiven the other one! I had to learn that she wouldn't join me because of some stupid reasons. I won't go down that road again, it's just that I thought we were friends, and she left me there in the "rain" for some guys she just met.... 

Anyways......even though I had a really nice time in Sibiu....my nights were clouded by concerns regarding one of my cats. 4 days had passed and Sefu hasn't returned home yet. Every day I called my parents asking if he was back yet...the answer was always no.....When I finally came home...I couldn't hide or stop my crying anymore...and I let it all out....

Even my dreams weren't there to comfort me, for the only thing I was dreaming were the horrible things that could have happened to him. You must know, that he never went away for that long...today it's 2 weeks since he disappeared. Some tried telling me that he was after female cats...but that's impossible since he's castrated  :(  I went and put out pictures with him hoping that someone might have found him but nothing happened

I'm still hoping, though it's only a dim light in the deep dark shadow that has taken over my soul...

I was just thinking that next year I won't be here to see him turn 7 years (on August the 6th) now...none of us will be there....:(

Now...I'm having a battle against my naive heart, who fell in love...despite of me trying to prevent that. That's one other thing that darkens my day turning it darker than night itself. I always fall for the weirdest reasons, and it's always no good => it's always in love and lonely :)) I won't even try anything even though my heart still believes I should fight for it...how could I? Last night my parents just broke up...or so it seems......and frankly I'm way to at the end of my powers to even care for anything else anymore.....I'm just trying to survive these dark days that won't leave my home....